Still Me or Better?

I’ve been having mixed emotions about myself lately, with all that’s been changing and going on. Trying to get a clear picture of where I’m going and what I want. Sometimes I’m blissfully content of just being in the moment and other times I cannot help but trying to map out my future. I have been feeling a bit at a loss with myself these past few weeks. I feel like at one point I was working on myself as a human being and then I just stopped. Did I reach something? Why is there this odd pause in my life? I feel like I need to sit and rest but there is so much to do so much I want. I have recently been able to come to terms with my past and instead of completely rejecting it I have started to make amends and count my blessings. I have wished my ex a happy birthday this weekend which I feel is a pivotal sign of my growth. It got me thinking about who I used to be and who I am today. I am better. So much better than I was. Is this still me then? Myself is feeling a bit apprehensive about this new me. Although this new me has been making more of an appearance for months now I just haven’t really noticed. She’s been with me the whole time I just feel like I haven’t given her the time of day. I am so much more happy waking up with her. I feel like she is learning and growing in the direction that I want. She’s definitely more courageous then I ever thought I was. She faces problems head on. Makes lists, builds plans and executes her actions almost to the T. My feelings of this new self most likely have something to do with the approach of spring but still, any progress in the positive department is still progress no matter what the driving factor is (which can also be my sweet sweet honey). Now a list of projects will follow and I am sure this new and refined me will be able to handle it, but still keep the old funny antics without the childish drama.

P.S CANADA 14 GOLD… WAY TO GO!!!