Voracious Love, to what do you not drive the hearts of men? Again , she must outcry, and again, a suppliant, must plead with him, must bend her pride to love - and so not die in vain, and with some way still left untried.
( Line 566-570, Book IV. The Aeneid of Virgil. Trans. Allen Mendelbaum)
Friday, November 26, 2010
Sleep
Chilled I pull the blanket around me hoping to imprision the heat. My fruitless attempt leaves me wide awake, laying on my side facing the wall and the window. Cold. I pull the blanket higher to cover my ears, my arm extends behind me and I close my eyes. Warm arms snake around my waist, bringing me into a warm embrace. Hot air touches the back of my neck, calm spreads through out my body. My hand comes back infront of me easing its way into a large open palm, clasping it gently and allowing it to be lost within, fingers intertwined. Hearts beating in rythme, bodies melting into one another, warmth reaching our toes. Like a midnight fairy, sleep flutters over us and lulls us to sleep.
I wake with a start! Blanket still over my head, I extend my arm behind me. I slowly turn my head. Empty, not even a dent.
I wake with a start! Blanket still over my head, I extend my arm behind me. I slowly turn my head. Empty, not even a dent.
Monday, November 22, 2010
An aside on Motivation
Where does it go? Motivation, I mean. Sometimes, I'm headstrong like a bull running through the streets of Spain and other times I become a sloth.
Hello, MOTIVATION... COME BACK TO ME!
But to be honest, laziness plagues all of us sometimes. So its okay to be disheartened at times. Just don't let that state of affairs last for too long though otherwise you might end up waking up with more then 200 pounds on you, hairy and with bad breath. YIKES. Motivation really has to come from within, but sometimes I have all these projects and things to do that to stay motivated in certain areas of my life takes a great deal of effort on my part. I consciously have to remind myself of the reason of why I am doing what I'm doing. And if that reason doesn't seem valid then it is a sign that I shouldn't have been doing that something in the first place and need to refocus my attention on something else. I have to demand the best from myself but remember that I am not wonder woman and I cannot fly around the world in one night like Santa Clause, so scheduling and effective time management is definitely a skill that I must add to my repertoire.
So Step 1. Make a list of things that need to be done.
Step 2. Organise that list into 3 categories a) things to do right Now b) things to do in the next little while c) things to do in the future. And Viola!
But that's not the hard part. The hard part is putting where my mouth is! Its doing the things that I say that need to be done. That's where motivation comes into play. I NEED SOME! Distractions are very easy to come upon and come in various shapes and sizes. Often they seem like little things, but over time they build up and I start drowning in them. So once again how to keep motivated?
Find a few good Whys and a few good Friends that will tell you when they notice you are slacking off. Plus set time lines. Always set time lines and due dates, that way you will start holding yourself accountable and will notice progress towards your goals.
Hello, MOTIVATION... COME BACK TO ME!
But to be honest, laziness plagues all of us sometimes. So its okay to be disheartened at times. Just don't let that state of affairs last for too long though otherwise you might end up waking up with more then 200 pounds on you, hairy and with bad breath. YIKES. Motivation really has to come from within, but sometimes I have all these projects and things to do that to stay motivated in certain areas of my life takes a great deal of effort on my part. I consciously have to remind myself of the reason of why I am doing what I'm doing. And if that reason doesn't seem valid then it is a sign that I shouldn't have been doing that something in the first place and need to refocus my attention on something else. I have to demand the best from myself but remember that I am not wonder woman and I cannot fly around the world in one night like Santa Clause, so scheduling and effective time management is definitely a skill that I must add to my repertoire.
So Step 1. Make a list of things that need to be done.
Step 2. Organise that list into 3 categories a) things to do right Now b) things to do in the next little while c) things to do in the future. And Viola!
But that's not the hard part. The hard part is putting where my mouth is! Its doing the things that I say that need to be done. That's where motivation comes into play. I NEED SOME! Distractions are very easy to come upon and come in various shapes and sizes. Often they seem like little things, but over time they build up and I start drowning in them. So once again how to keep motivated?
Find a few good Whys and a few good Friends that will tell you when they notice you are slacking off. Plus set time lines. Always set time lines and due dates, that way you will start holding yourself accountable and will notice progress towards your goals.
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces- Unknown-
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Untitled
Thump Thump Thump
I sit at my computer listening to my heart beat, my bare breasts exposed, as my towel loosened its hold on my body. I stare at the computer. Thump thump thump. I try to remember where I put my phone. Did I leave it downstairs? Do I want to get up and get it? Would this require putting on clothes? Dam phone, just ring already. Come on. Oh what a great end to a terrible day would it be, if only that little electronic box sang that sweet familiar tune. Thump Thump Thump. But no such luck. I am alone with my thoughts, no one to interrupt my solitary confinedment, no one to quicken my pulse. Staring at my computer contemplating the mammoth paper I have to write. Only the paper is not that pressing. It seems to be secondary. It does not frighten me nor bring me any pain. Just some little bug buzzing in the back of my mind. Thump Thump Thump. COME ON, RING PHONE, RING!!! WHY WON'T YOU RING? ARG! PIECE OF SHIT! I HATE YOU!
(GASP) Warm tears run down my face. ThumpThumpThumpThump Thump Thump Thump
I sit at my computer listening to my heart beat, my bare breasts exposed, as my towel loosened its hold on my body. I stare at the computer. Thump thump thump. I try to remember where I put my phone. Did I leave it downstairs? Do I want to get up and get it? Would this require putting on clothes? Dam phone, just ring already. Come on. Oh what a great end to a terrible day would it be, if only that little electronic box sang that sweet familiar tune. Thump Thump Thump. But no such luck. I am alone with my thoughts, no one to interrupt my solitary confinedment, no one to quicken my pulse. Staring at my computer contemplating the mammoth paper I have to write. Only the paper is not that pressing. It seems to be secondary. It does not frighten me nor bring me any pain. Just some little bug buzzing in the back of my mind. Thump Thump Thump. COME ON, RING PHONE, RING!!! WHY WON'T YOU RING? ARG! PIECE OF SHIT! I HATE YOU!
(GASP) Warm tears run down my face. ThumpThumpThumpThump Thump Thump Thump
Sunday, November 14, 2010
BEST DAD AWARD!
Recently i have gone through DRAMA!
My PAPA, Being that non communicative dad that he is sometimes, has brought a smile to my face.
He Knocks and says " I didnt want to say anything before... but I Dont See why Any SMART MAN would Ever Leave you. YOURE JUST TOO PRETTY And Nice and girls like you arent easy to come upon".
I think I cried... THANKS PAPPA I LOVE YOU!
My PAPA, Being that non communicative dad that he is sometimes, has brought a smile to my face.
He Knocks and says " I didnt want to say anything before... but I Dont See why Any SMART MAN would Ever Leave you. YOURE JUST TOO PRETTY And Nice and girls like you arent easy to come upon".
I think I cried... THANKS PAPPA I LOVE YOU!
To Be or Not to Be
... That honestly is a fucking dumb question. But it comes up fairly often enough. And I am not talking about suicide people. Its the question that each of us answers everyday about the choices we make. Milk or cream, scarf or no scarf, friends or not friends, house or apartment, blonde or brunnette, marriage or no marriage, school or job, fries or salad, coke or pepsi?
After a while it gets exhausting and becomes a big deal that we start to dwell upon, it snowballs, starts rolling and ends up knocking us off course. The little questions are fairly easy to handle but the big ones just make me want to hurl sometimes. And its the craziest thing. I try to move on but my mind just keeps knit picking until it turns into an obsession and to tell you the truth... It makes me a little frightend to think that some things can have such a powerful effect on my emotions and everyday life. Its like are you Kidding me Right?
I just want the answer already! A choice that is right and makes me feel good.
LIKE REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How the Hell AM I to figure this shit out? Where Is th OWNERS MANUAL ON MY LIFE?
After a while it gets exhausting and becomes a big deal that we start to dwell upon, it snowballs, starts rolling and ends up knocking us off course. The little questions are fairly easy to handle but the big ones just make me want to hurl sometimes. And its the craziest thing. I try to move on but my mind just keeps knit picking until it turns into an obsession and to tell you the truth... It makes me a little frightend to think that some things can have such a powerful effect on my emotions and everyday life. Its like are you Kidding me Right?
I just want the answer already! A choice that is right and makes me feel good.
LIKE REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How the Hell AM I to figure this shit out? Where Is th OWNERS MANUAL ON MY LIFE?
Friday, November 12, 2010
Creativity...
When I was younger, I would always write. I would write every intimate detail, I would write the silliest notions that would pop into my head, poems, my criticism on newspaper articles, and my short stories. ( Never got to writing novels).
So heres a little something I wrote Once upon a time that I have recently rediscovered...Unaltered!
Something else...
...It honestly was a long time ago, and every time She tries to remember it feels like it was out of a fairy tale novel. Although He never thinks it was something special, She always thinks that it was something magical, something that the universe secretly conspired within its dark and glories belly, it was definitely something else that no one could understand but everyone wanted. No matter how often She told it, it never lost its charm and no matter how many years went by, He never lost his. Talk about a sappy romantic and you’d have Her pegged. That’s what She thought He loved about Her, Her never ending child like fantasies and teenage enthusiasm. He often called Her his little angle and to Him, She was cute beyond belief especially when She got excited about up and coming projects that she often conjured up, but he used more adult terms in more intimate encounters. He often tired to remember Her eye colour that morning, and the peaceful smile she had on her lips. Sometimes her nose would whistle while she slept, but a very quite type of whistle. She has gotten a lot older in the past few years and He would often explore new lines on her pretty face. She’d probably freak out if She knew this, but He enjoyed tracing each line to a sad or happy memory they had shared in their life together. To him time seemed almost nothing, just something they teach in schools, it only becomes apparent to him when he compared his own face with the youthful couple in the picture frame by the bed. The couple in the picture seemed almost without a care, energetic and naive. Yet both looked like they had a secret that only the two of them knew...
So heres a little something I wrote Once upon a time that I have recently rediscovered...Unaltered!
Something else...
...It honestly was a long time ago, and every time She tries to remember it feels like it was out of a fairy tale novel. Although He never thinks it was something special, She always thinks that it was something magical, something that the universe secretly conspired within its dark and glories belly, it was definitely something else that no one could understand but everyone wanted. No matter how often She told it, it never lost its charm and no matter how many years went by, He never lost his. Talk about a sappy romantic and you’d have Her pegged. That’s what She thought He loved about Her, Her never ending child like fantasies and teenage enthusiasm. He often called Her his little angle and to Him, She was cute beyond belief especially when She got excited about up and coming projects that she often conjured up, but he used more adult terms in more intimate encounters. He often tired to remember Her eye colour that morning, and the peaceful smile she had on her lips. Sometimes her nose would whistle while she slept, but a very quite type of whistle. She has gotten a lot older in the past few years and He would often explore new lines on her pretty face. She’d probably freak out if She knew this, but He enjoyed tracing each line to a sad or happy memory they had shared in their life together. To him time seemed almost nothing, just something they teach in schools, it only becomes apparent to him when he compared his own face with the youthful couple in the picture frame by the bed. The couple in the picture seemed almost without a care, energetic and naive. Yet both looked like they had a secret that only the two of them knew...
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