I exhale your essence, the memory of you, your spirit leaves me, and I feel my body falling. No longer am I filled with you that I float. I cannot fly, I cannot touch the sky. My universe collapses, I feel my body on solid ground. My heart sinks into quicksand, my mind gets buried in darkness. I let go of my senses, as insanity takes control of the wheel, it drives me to the pinnacle of destruction. I stand on the ledge, preparing to jump, watching the last silver shimmer of you float away. I abandon all hope, stop my heart from beating, refuse to breath in. I spread my arms out, I stand on my toes, and welcome the slow first movement of the fall into the abyss. My body picks up speed, I hurl through the air, feel the cold against my skin, shut out the screams, and accept my descent into the ground. I close my eyes and prepare myself for impact.
My body lets out a gasp, as it hits icy water, surprised I open my eyes, my arms take over, and begin the tedious task of trying to rescue me. I refuse to accept my survival, and once my head breaks through the water into open air, I let out a scream. The clouds gather round to laugh at my misery, the storm gathers in my heart and fills the hole that you left. The waves throw me around, and exhaust the very fibers of my being. I am caught in a whirlwind, unable to get my barrings, unable to fight, although moments ago I reached serenity. My decisiveness shattered, my plans destroyed, my life cheated twice. Your laugh echoes through the air, and reverberates off the water, hitting my ears like a sonic blast. I spin out of control and into the whirlpool pulled apart by competing currents, I sink to the bottom unconscious.
Art by Leona DeLioncourt
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