Screw that!

I am a screw up and I know it.

I screw up daily and I show it.

I make mistakes no matter how hard I try

Sometimes, because of them I cry.

I went through a phase where no matter what I did, I would always screw it up in some way. Purposeful sabotage. It was like I had a vendetta against myself. I would always do something so very dumb that it actually caused deep hurt and stress. Why did I do this to myself? I have no answer to that question. Instead, I have started in working on solutions to the problems I have created. Let me tell you, it’s so difficult to pick myself off of the floor and start again. I feel like I weigh 500 pounds. I feel like everyone is pointing and staring, and whispering things about me. I feel like people are rooting for me to fail. But I know those feelings are unjustifiable. I have people who love me. I have people who openly admit that they believe in me. Its only me that is so God dam unsure of myself. Its only me that stands in my way. Its only me that’s dragging me down. So where and when do I start the unraveling process?

Right Here, Right Now !

Slowly bit by bit. I will make my journey through this stormy sea of life. And instead of steering towards the rocks, I’m going steer away.

Let’s see what happens.